A break is really painful not to matter whether it happened in a dramatic way or was a mutual decision. We all land into a situation when we want to know how we could make it work. We start accusing ourselves for everything. We stalk their social media profile. We keep at their pictures and gifts.
These are the things we all do but don’t you think all this is holding you back from moving on?
Yes, there’s no point of revolving around the same point. Here are 10 Post-breakup Mistakes People do.
People try to figure out what went wrong
After break up, people start craving their mistakes. ‘What if I would have done in a different way?’ there brings guilt. You start accusing yourself.
Once my friend got cheated by her boyfriend and still, her words were, “It was all my fault, I didn’t give him attention.”
Cease this right now. Stop blaming yourself for everything that happened.
Try to figure how what went wrong and how you should ’ve handled and worked on that. Both of you equally share the blame. “Stop watering a Dead Flower.”
You still have their Number. Don’t you?
The argument people give on this is “What if I need it I mean Just in case?” I can assure you that there’s gonna be such situations but the reality you’re that things might work out.
Deleting their number will boost you. Stop dragging yourself backward and free up space in your contact for someone else.
Showing off you’re over them
If your breakup inspired you to do things you always wanted to like hitting the gym, joining dance classes or renovating your home then its well and good.
But if that’s only to post pictures on social media and let your ex know you’re better without them then trust me its the worst idea. This shows you’re still stuck in the past. Live for yourself, not for them. Don’t let the thought of your ex-rule you.
You still enquire about her from your mutuals
Stop asking your mutuals about where’s she these day or who is she dating? Instead of wondering that were you so easy to get over, start focusing what’s next in your life. Asking about her and then feeling miserable about it will suck mental energy.
You reveal your breakup problems on social media
People update status that they broke up and when people ask them to tell the whole dramatic story in order to gain sympathy and spoil the image of your ex but you’re actually wasting your time and feeding yourself with all the bitterness.
Stop it and start focusing on your future and enjoy your own company.
You try to be Friends
Starting a friendship with ex-sounds highly gruesome idea. Usually, there are 4 reasons to stay friend with your ex.
- Security: You need emotional support from and feel lost without them.
- Practicality: You’ve to encounter your ex daily in the office or you’ve kids.
- Civility: You just want to be polite.
- Romantic attachment: You have romantic with them.
Studies have found that people who stay friend for the sake of civility or practicality last longer where those who want emotional support and have romantic attachment end up soon and experience negative feelings.
Not taking the break to heal and get over your ex may leave you emotionally drained and break your heart more.
You still stalk their social media profile
No one is asking you to remove their trace from your social life but healing needs this. Unfollow them, don’t stalk their profile, stop putting status to make them realize that you miss them. After a time when you feel things related to ex-don’t both you, add them. If you feel you don’t have guts or have enough willpower to add them then go-ahead unfriend or block them.
Contacting ex for closure
You’ve some unanswered questions or you're wondering how’s everything in your ex’s life and you drop a text. That’s the worst of all. When you’re contacting your mind is actually looking whether they’re suffering as much as you’re. It just like you’re withdrawing yourself from a drug and brain is dragging you back.
You start dating again too soon
Most people try to find another one within a month because no one wants to feel unwanted. That may lead you to another disaster. Give yourself time. Identify your solo identity and enjoy your single status.
You think you need to change
A breakup doesn’t mean that it was all your fault and you need to change yourself. Sometimes two perfect things don’t fix together that doesn’t mean one or another has some problem. It's true we need to grow and overcome the flaws but it is never completely your fault. Learn from your mistakes and give yourself second chance.